Think back to the grown-up in your life who wasn’t your parent but somehow just got you. Maybe it was the neighbour who let you help in her garden, the piano teacher who laughed at your jokes, or the older colleague who took you under their wing at your first real job.

Chances are, that person shaped you more than you realized at the time.

Here’s the thing, though... most of us don’t make friends like that anymore, at least not on purpose. Our friend groups tend to look a lot like us: same life stage, same worries, same group chat full of the same memes. Nothing’s wrong with that! But we’re missing out on something special when every friend we have was born within five years of us.

So let’s talk about why intergenerational friendships matter, what each generation brings to the table, and how to actually build one without it feeling awkward.

What Is an Intergenerational Friendship?

An intergenerational friendship is a genuine friendship between people from different generations, usually with an age gap of 20 years or more. It’s not a family relationship or a formal mentorship (although those can be lovely too). It’s two people who simply enjoy each other’s company, learn from each other and show up for each other, regardless of the number of candles on their birthday cakes.

Picture a retired teacher and a university student who bonded over a shared love of mystery novels at the library book club.

Or take Cindy’s mom. She’s in her 70s and loves nothing more than a nice hike on the trails. Many friends her own age aren’t up for long walks anymore, so her circle of hiking buddies has been getting younger and younger. One of her closest friends now is in her 40s (younger than Cindy, which goes to show there are no rules in friendship), and the two of them bonded so well that they've become travel partners too. They just got back from a girls’ trip to Portugal!

That’s the beauty of these friendships. When you build them around what you love to do, age has a funny way of not mattering at all.

How We Ended Up Living in Age Bubbles

If intergenerational friendships are so great, why are they so rare? A lot of it comes down to how our lives are set up.

From the time we’re small, we’re sorted by age. School groups us by grade. Sports leagues group us by birth year. Then come workplaces with “young professionals” networks, condos marketed to empty nesters and retirement communities on the edge of town. Even our social media feeds quietly serve us content made by people our own age.

Researchers have a name for this: age segregation. Studies spanning two decades describe a growing trend of older and younger people increasingly living, socializing and spending their free time in separate worlds.

None of this is anyone’s fault... but it does mean that friendships across generations rarely happen by accident anymore. They need a little intention.

We’re More Alike Than We Think

Something we didn’t truly understand when we were younger is that the generations ahead of us really aren’t that different from us.

When you’re 20, someone who’s 60 can feel like they’re from another planet. Their music, their references, their way of doing things all seem a world away. Then somewhere along the way, the gap starts to shrink. You find yourself laughing at the same jokes. You worry about the same things: your kids, your health, whether you’re making the most of your time. You realize that the 75-year-old at the community centre has the same sense of humour as your best friend, and opinions just as strong.

We didn't get it when someone older said, “I still feel 25 on the inside.” Now we get it completely. The years between us seem to matter less and less the more of them we collect.

And that’s exactly what we miss when we brush off the older generation as out of touch. We lose their wisdom, sure... but we also lose their wit, their mischief and their stories. We lose the chance to discover that they’re a lot more like us than we ever imagined.

The Benefits of Intergenerational Friendships (for Everyone Involved)

The best part of these friendships is that they’re a two-way street. Both people get something real out of them.

1. Less Loneliness on Both Ends
We often picture loneliness as something that mostly affects older adults, but research consistently shows that young adults feel lonely just as often, and in many cases even more. Loneliness tends to show up at both ends of life, which makes intergenerational friendships such a natural fit. Each person fills a gap for the other.

Programs that intentionally bring younger and older people together have found that both groups come away feeling less lonely, more connected and more understanding of each other.

2. Perspective You Can’t Google
An older friend has already lived through the things that keep you up at night: the career pivot, the heartbreak, the “what am I doing with my life” phase. They can’t hand you the answers, but they can remind you that the storm passes, and that most of what feels huge today will be a story you tell later.

That kind of perspective doesn’t come from a podcast or a search engine. It comes from sitting across from someone who’s been there.

3. Fresh Energy and Curiosity
The benefits flow the other way too. Younger friends bring new ideas, new music, new slang (which may or may not need explaining) and a healthy dose of “why not?” energy. For an older adult, being around someone who’s just starting out can be a wonderful reminder that life is still full of possibility.

4. Kinder Views About Aging
Spending time with people of different ages changes how we see getting older, including our own aging. A University of Kent research review found that having even one older friend is enough to reduce young people’s negative stereotypes about older adults, partly by easing their anxiety about their own aging.

Turns out, the best antidote to dreading your 70s is having a 70-something friend who’s having the time of their life.

5. A Sense of Purpose
Everyone wants to feel needed. Older adults often find renewed purpose in sharing their skills and stories, and younger adults feel genuinely valued when someone with decades of life experience takes an interest in their ideas. Each person gets to be both the teacher and the student, sometimes in the same conversation.

What Each Generation Brings to the Friendship

Every friendship is unique, of course, but here’s a lighthearted look at the trade that often happens:

What an older friend might bring:
• How to make a proper pie crust (from scratch, no shortcuts)
• The real story of how your town looked “back in the day”
• Patience, and the ability to sit comfortably with silence
• Honest advice, delivered with zero sugar-coating
• An unexpectedly fierce euchre strategy

What a younger friend might bring:
• How to stop accidentally turning on your phone’s front camera
• The newest restaurant (and how to book it online)
• Fresh opinions on everything from music to politics
• An excuse to try something you’d never try alone
• A reminder that people still dream big

Both lists add up to the same thing: two lives that get a little richer because they overlap.

How to Make Friends With People of Different Ages

Making friends as an adult is already hard enough, so here’s the good news: intergenerational friendships usually grow out of shared interests, not age. Find the activity, and the people follow.

1. Volunteer somewhere that mixes ages. Food banks, community gardens, animal shelters and literacy programs naturally bring together retirees, students and everyone in between.
2. Join a club built around a hobby. Book clubs, choirs, curling leagues, running groups, quilting circles and (yes) pickleball courts are wonderfully age-diverse.
3. Take a class. Pottery, painting, language lessons or a continuing education course at a local college often attract learners from 18 to 88.
4. Look around your neighbourhood. The neighbour you wave to every morning might be your next great friend. Start with a chat over the fence, then maybe a coffee.
5. Say yes to mentorship at work, in both directions. Offer to mentor someone newer, or ask a seasoned colleague if they’d grab lunch. “Reverse mentoring,” where a younger employee shares their skills, is a great way to flip the script.
6. Get involved in your faith or cultural community. These spaces have been bridging generations for centuries.
7. Start with the people already in your orbit. A friend’s parent, your kids’ former coach, your grandmother’s best friend... some of the best intergenerational friendships start with someone you already know.

On that last point, family can be a beautiful starting place. In our Grandparents Day post, we suggested hosting a generational show-and-tell, where each person brings something meaningful and explains why it matters. It works just as well with friends of any age. Few things spark conversation faster than “tell me the story behind this.”

C.S. Lewis once wrote that friendship is born at the moment one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself...” That moment can happen at any age, as long as we put ourselves in the room where it might.

How to Nurture an Intergenerational Friendship

Once the spark is there, these friendships grow the same way any friendship does: with time, attention and a little effort.
• Be consistent. A standing coffee date or a weekly walk builds trust faster than a big gesture every few months.
• Ask good questions, then really listen. Try ones like: “What was the best piece of advice you ever got?” “What did you think your life would look like at my age?” “What’s something you’ve changed your mind about?” “What are you excited about right now?”
• Keep it reciprocal. Resist the urge to treat an older friend like someone to “help” or a younger friend like someone to “fix.” Friendship works best when both people give and receive.
• Meet each other halfway on how you connect. Maybe that means one of you learns to video call and the other learns to appreciate a handwritten note.
• Be patient with differences. You won’t agree on everything (and that’s half the fun). Curiosity goes a lot further than debate.

Let Them Know What They Mean to You

We’re often great at feeling grateful for the people who’ve shaped us, and not always so great at saying it out loud.

If there’s an older friend who’s been a steady presence in your life, or a younger friend who’s brought fresh joy into your days, tell them. Write them a note. Call just to say thanks. And when a big moment comes along, like a milestone birthday, a retirement or a move across the country, consider gathering words from everyone whose life they’ve touched. A Woxbox lets you collect heartfelt messages and photos from friends of every age into one keepsake they can hold onto, so they know exactly how much they matter.

Whatever you choose, the words are what count. People should hear how much they mean to us while we can still tell them.

A Final Thought

Friendship doesn’t come with an age limit. Some of the most meaningful people in our lives arrive decades ahead of us or decades behind, and they bring perspectives, stories and kindness we’d never find in our usual circles.

So this week, look up from your age bubble. You might just find that the people you thought had nothing in common with you are the ones who understand you best.

Know someone who’s been a bright light in your life, whatever their age? Start a Woxbox and gather words of kindness from everyone who loves them.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What is an intergenerational friendship? It’s a real friendship between people from different generations, usually 20 or more years apart. It isn’t family and it isn’t a formal mentorship... it’s simply two people who enjoy each other’s company and learn from one another, no matter their ages.

What are the benefits of intergenerational friendships? There are lots! Research links them to less loneliness for both younger and older adults, kinder attitudes about aging, a stronger sense of purpose and plenty of fresh perspective. Honestly, one of the best perks is simply having someone in your corner who sees life a little differently than you do.

Do younger and older people really have that much in common? More than you’d think! When we’re young, older generations can seem like they’re from another planet. But the older we get, the more we realize we laugh at the same jokes, worry about the same things and want the same things out of life. Shared interests, like a love of hiking, books or travel, often matter far more than the years between you.

How do I make friends with people older or younger than me? Start with something you love doing. Volunteering, hobby clubs, community classes, choirs and sports leagues all bring different ages together naturally. From there, it’s about showing up regularly and being open to a conversation. The friendship usually follows the shared interest. Your favourite hiking buddy might just end up being 30 years younger (or older) than you!

Is it weird to be friends with someone much older or younger? Not at all! It might feel a little unusual at first, mostly because our lives tend to be so age-sorted. But people have been forming friendships across generations forever. If you enjoy each other’s company and the friendship feels mutual, that’s all that matters.

How can older adults connect with younger generations? Volunteer for mentoring or tutoring programs, take a class at a local college, join a community group or simply strike up a chat with younger neighbours. Being curious about their lives (and sharing a few stories of your own) goes a long way. Bonus points for letting them teach you a new app.

How do you nurture a friendship with an age gap? The same way you’d nurture any friendship... with consistency, good questions and genuine listening. A standing coffee date or regular phone call helps a lot. Try to keep it a two-way street, where you’re both giving and receiving, rather than one person always being the “helper.”

What’s a meaningful way to thank an older friend or mentor? Tell them specifically what they’ve meant to you: a handwritten letter, a heartfelt phone call or, for a big milestone, a collection of messages and photos from everyone they’ve touched, like a Woxbox. The most meaningful thank-yous are the ones that name the moments and lessons that mattered.

What if I’m feeling really lonely right now? You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way, and reaching out is a brave first step. Try connecting with one person this week, even with just a quick text or a walk. If loneliness is weighing heavily on you or you’re struggling, please know that support is always available. In Canada and the U.S., you can call or text 988 anytime to reach trained crisis support.

About Woxbox: Our company is passionate about spreading kindness. So, whether you're here for the feel-good stuff, motivational tidbits, or you're like us and really believe in gifting kindness, we're thrilled to know you are reading along with us!