We've all been to funerals where beautiful things were said about someone we loved. Heartfelt eulogies. Touching memories. Words that made everyone cry... and think, "I wish they could have heard this."

But the uncomfortable truth is that most of us wait until it's too late to tell the special people in our lives, and especially our parents, the things they truly need to hear. We assume they know. We think there's always time. We get caught up in daily life and forget that the most important conversations are often the ones we keep postponing.

This is a particularly difficult topic for me (Cindy) to write about. I lost my father almost twenty years ago and I know firsthand the heartbreak of missing out on those meaningful conversations. There are so many things I wish I could have said, so many questions I never got to ask. The regret of waiting... thinking there would always be more time... is something I carry with me.

Carey and I started Woxbox because we believe everyone deserves to hear these words while they're here with us... not just words spoken at their funeral.

We've helped many families capture and share meaningful messages, and what we've learned along the way is that there are five essential things most people wish they'd said to their parents sooner.

1. "Thank You for the Sacrifices I Didn't See Until Now"
As kids, we rarely noticed the quiet sacrifices. The extra shifts our parents worked so we could play hockey or take piano lessons. The vacations they skipped so we could go to summer camp. The dreams they put on hold so ours could take flight.

Now that we're adults... especially if we're parents ourselves... we finally see it. The exhaustion they hid. The worries they carried alone. The countless ways they showed up, even when they were running on empty.

What to say: Get specific. Tell them about the moment you finally understood what they gave up. Share how you see their sacrifices differently now. Let them know that you get it, even if it took you years to understand.

2. "I See How Hard You Tried, Even When Things Were Difficult"
Perfect parents don't exist. But parents who tried their best, who showed up despite their own struggles, who loved imperfectly but genuinely? Those parents deserve recognition.

Maybe your childhood wasn't picture-perfect. Maybe there were hard times, strained moments, or years when the relationship felt broken. But if your parents tried... if they kept showing up, kept working at it, kept loving you even when it was hard... they need to hear that you see that effort.

What to say: Acknowledge the challenges. Recognize their humanity. Thank them for not giving up, even when things got tough. This isn't about pretending everything was perfect; it's about honouring the effort they made despite imperfections.

3. "This Is How You Shaped Who I Am Today"
Your parents probably know they influenced you. But do they know how? Do they understand the specific ways their words, actions, and values live on in you?

Maybe it's your mom's resilience that got you through your own tough times. Maybe it's your dad's sense of humour that helps you lighten heavy moments. Perhaps it's the way they treated strangers with kindness, and now you find yourself doing the same.

What to say: Connect the dots for them. Tell them the exact moments that shaped you. Share the lessons you've carried forward and the ways you see them in your own decisions, relationships, and values.

4. "I'm Sorry for the Ways I Took You for Granted"
This one's hard. It requires vulnerability and humility. But it's also incredibly healing... for both you and your parents.

We all took our parents for granted at some point. Maybe you were a difficult teenager. Maybe you moved away and didn't call enough. Maybe you were so focused on your own life that you forgot to check in on theirs.

What to say: Name it specifically. Apologize for the times you didn't appreciate them. Let them know that you recognize what you missed, and that you're grateful anyway... grateful that they loved you even when you didn't fully appreciate it.

5. "I Love You, and Here's What That Means"
"I love you" is powerful, but it can also feel routine if that's all we say. What does your love actually mean? What does it look like? What does it commit to?

What to say: Define your love. Tell them that loving them means you'll be there when they need you. That you'll remember the stories they've shared and pass them on. That you'll honour their legacy by living the values they taught you. That your love isn't just a feeling... it's a promise.

Why Saying These Things Matters Now

"We don't have forever. What we do have is today." That's something we remind ourselves of constantly. Because the truth is, we never know how much time we have with the people we love.

Saying these five things to your parents isn't just a gift to them... it's a gift to yourself. It's a chance to have the conversations that matter before it's too late. To express gratitude while it can still be received. To heal old wounds and strengthen bonds before time runs out.

The act of having these conversations and saying all these things... of putting them into words... changes something. It deepens relationships. It brings closure to old hurts. It creates a sense of peace that both you and your parents will carry forward.

If you're not sure how to start the conversation, start simple:

"I've been thinking about you lately, and there are some things I want you to know."

Or: "I don't say this enough, but I need to tell you something important."

Or even: "I was thinking about all the ways you've influenced me, and I wanted to share that with you."

You don't need perfect words. You just need honest ones. Your parents don't need poetry... they need to hear, in your own authentic voice, why they matter to you.

Take It a Step Further
Once you've shared these five essential messages, consider keeping the conversation going by asking questions that show genuine interest in who your parents are... not just as your mom and/or dad, but as complete human beings with their own stories, dreams, and experiences.

Ask them about:
• Their childhood memories and what life was like growing up
• Who they were before you were born... their hopes, dreams, and adventures
• How they met and fell in love (if applicable)
• The challenges they overcame and what they learned from them
• Their family medical history (this is practical but often forgotten)
• What they're most proud of in the life they've lived
• What advice they'd give their younger selves
• The moments that defined them as people

The richness of your parents' lives... their full, complex, beautiful lives beyond their role as your parent... deserves to be known, celebrated, and remembered.

Making These Words Last 💛

One of the most meaningful ways to capture these conversations is to write them down. Whether you share them in person first or not, having these words preserved, with photos, messages and memories from siblings and other family members, creates something your parents can return to again and again.

That's why we created Woxbox: to help families capture and share these exact kinds of messages in a beautiful, tangible way. It's a collection of heartfelt messages that can be treasured forever, whether you create it as a solo gift or gather words of kindness from everyone who loves them.

But regardless of whether you have a conversation with all the words you've been meaning to say or choose a printed keepsake of heartfelt messages, take it from us: the most important thing is that you do it. Don't let another year pass. Don't wait for a special occasion. Don't assume they already know.

Your parents truly do need to hear these five things... for them and for you... while they're still here to truly receive them.

Have you told your parents what they mean to you? Visit Woxbox to create a lasting collection of messages about why you love & appreciate them, favourite memories and photos... presented in a beautiful keepsake box. A heartfelt gift of love that your parents are sure to treasure forever!

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Frequently Asked Questions

What if my relationship with my parents is complicated or strained?
You don't have to pretend everything was perfect. Focus on the effort they made, the moments of genuine connection, or the specific things you appreciate despite the challenges. Even acknowledging "I see that you tried, even when things were hard" can be healing for everyone involved.

Is it too late if my parents are elderly or have memory issues?
It's never too late. Even if cognitive decline is present, emotional memory often remains. Your words may not be remembered in detail, but the feeling of being loved and appreciated will resonate. Consider also writing these messages down so other family members can share them when your parents are most receptive.

What if I get emotional when trying to say these things?
Getting emotional shows that these words matter deeply... and your parents will see that. If face-to-face feels too overwhelming, consider writing a letter first, recording a video message, or having the conversation during a quiet, private moment when you can both be vulnerable together.

Should I say all five things at once or spread them out?
There's no right answer. Some people prefer one meaningful, comprehensive conversation. Others find it more natural to share these messages over time during different visits or phone calls. Choose what feels authentic to you and sustainable for your relationship.

What if my parents dismiss compliments or deflect appreciation?
Many parents, especially from certain generations, struggle to receive praise. Say it anyway. Even if they brush it off in the moment, your words will stay with them. Consider following up with a written version they can revisit privately.

How do I have this conversation without making it feel like a goodbye?
Frame it as a celebration of your relationship, not a farewell. Say something like, "I've been thinking about all the ways you've influenced me, and I wanted to share that while we can enjoy it together." Focus on gratitude and connection rather than mortality.

What if I didn't have a close relationship with my parents growing up?
You can still acknowledge what was positive, even if it was limited. Thank them for providing basics like stability, education, or opportunities. Or focus on the relationship you're building now as adults. Growth and healing are worth acknowledging too.

How can I encourage my siblings to share their appreciation too?
Lead by example. Share your experience of expressing appreciation to your parents, and how meaningful it was. You might also consider creating a group gift where each sibling contributes their own messages... something like a Woxbox makes this easy to coordinate.

About Woxbox: Our company is passionate about spreading kindness. So, whether you're here for the feel-good stuff, motivational tidbits, or you're like us and really believe in gifting kindness, we're thrilled to know you are reading along with us!